Hello, my dear readers. So, I thought I would post something a little different. I decided to post pictures of my starting point in my adventure of working out, weight loss, eating healthy, and my body changing. I decided to do this to help myself keep track of my gains and my losses.
So! Here we go! I will start with pictures and then add in some talking! Please ignore the room. I have not had a chance to clean up some of the laundries that are on the floor. Anyways.
After weighing myself this morning, I am a hundred and nineteen pounds. I am five foot two. My butt is 38″, my hips 36″, my stomach 32″ and my bust is 32″.
Alright. SO this is me. This morning. I weighed myself, I took measurements and I also took these pictures. I was really excited to do this, but that slowly turned upside down. Because once I had taken the pictures, I had to find a way to make myself look better in them. But, I am not sucking in my stomach and I am not flexing. This is resting form of what I look like. I am proud that I am able to post something like this. Because like I said. This is my starting point.
I am super self-conscience about my body (who isn’t nowadays) and I would have never done this about 2 years maybe 3 years ago. I thought my body was disgusting. Not going to lie, somedays I still have that thought. I have come a long way from hating my body to where I am today. I am comfortable with my body. Do I wish that something would change? Yes. Am I doing something about it? Yes. Do I wish these results would happen sooner? Yes!! But, I am willing to work to get the results I want.
Now. I know a lot of people will look at this post and be like. OH my god (or goodness) she isn’t even fat. Why is she doing this? I will tell you why. I was a serious athlete growing up. All my life. I played competitive sports. I was in shape and had an amazing body. I look at pictures of myself when I was 14 to now- six years later. I hate how I let myself go.
I did not let myself go though. I had a sports injury. I dislocated my knee to the point that I needed surgery on it so that I could walk straight. Or go a day without it dislocated from me just swinging my legs out of my car and hitting it lightly against my steering wheel. I had to stop playing contact sports (which is where I got my body from and my will to work out) and had to wait for surgery. Once I had surgery, I had to do rehab to teach myself to walk again. I am right side dominant, which so happens to be the knee that had the surgery on it. I had to re-learn how to walk supporting myself on my left leg, not my right. Which took a lot of time because I am a stubborn person, and I think my way is the best way.
Fast forward to 5 months after my surgery and rehab, my depression kicked in. I did not want to do anything, I didn’t want to go out, I didn’t even want to be seen. I thought I walked with a limp, thought my life had lost purpose because I could no longer play contact sports. I thought I would never go to college because I would never be able to get scholarships. Everything had gone away that I held up on a pedestal. I stopped working out. I kept going to my therapist appointments, although she could tell that my heart wasn’t in it. To me, this injury was the end of the world.
Once again fast forward to 1 year ago. I was at the heaviest I had ever weighed in my life. I hated my body. I hated who I was, I hated how miserable I was. I hated everything about myself and would try to make other peoples lives miserable to just be miserable with me. Until my best friend dragged me to the gym. He told me that I needed to work out what ever frustrations I was having and then apologize to everyone I was hurting. So, that is what I did. Even though, the first two weeks of working felt great. I felt like I could do it. Keep going. I would make excuses. My knee hurts. I can’t this week, school is too much, or work is too much. My heart was not into working out.
Fast forward to a month ago. My ex broke up with me. I blamed myself for not being pretty and not being thin. It took me about two days to come out of this slump and decide that I was going to change it. So, I set up an appointment with my therapist to see what kind of shape my knee was in, she would set me up with a routine to help me with my knee, and a workout routine that would focus on everyone I wanted to work on, with little to no pressure on my knee. But, still doing everything. I will have to work in moderation. But, I am ready to change my body.
I want to share it with everyone because everyone has their breaking point. Mine was my ex-breaking up with me and finally not letting my injury be my excuse. So this is my starting point. I hope this is inspiring for someone. Or if it’s just a platform for myself to ramble on.
Thank you for reading! See you soon!