Day 23: A Difficult Time In My Life

Alright. I am going to get really personal with this one. Because I know this is supposed be a difficult time for me. Which makes it also hard to talk about it. But, I am going to. It’s always a good idea to get ranting off the chest right?

So, I have three huge moments in life that were difficult. But, I want to talk about the one that just happened a year and a half almost two years now ago. So here it goes.

Three months before I finished high school, I started dating a guy. (My ex.) He was different from the guys I usually dated, I normally date nerds but he was a little bit a of nerd and jock altogether. I thought it was going to be a good relationship. We dated for about a year and a half.

It was good for the first six months. It was a good, I was happy and I never thought I would want someone else. After six months, he started cutting me off from my friends, we rarely went out, and when I would plan things he would get upset or I would get scared that he would get upset and end up going home anyways. His anger was a huge part of my life. I was always trying to make excuses for it.

It is early December and we went out for dinner with mutual friends for a birthday. Hanging out and talking. Three of us went to elementary school together and one of our classmates had passed away. We were discussing whether or not we were going. My ex cut in while I was trying to talk and said, “Nobody cares about what you think.” That was my final straw. I took off. I got my dad to pick me up and I cried in my room for three days.

Fast-forward to New Years. My best friend and I are sitting on the couch watching the Good Dinosaur. We had signed up for dating sites for her. I was trying to help her find someone. Enter in my current boyfriend. I showed him to her, she started talking to him. They stopped talking, but she liked him. I tried to help her by talking about her to him. Soon, him and I were making plans to hang. (Gaah! This is where it got difficult for my morals and my emotional sanity.)

We hung out and walked around our small water park we had. We walked around talked. The way we talked was amazing. I realised how I was being treated. Three days later, I broke up with my boyfriend. I felt awful and like a whore. But, looking back now it was the right thing to do… I started hanging out more and more with my current boyfriend. He helped me realised that I was worth being someone’s princess. He makes me feel worthy.

This is the short version of everything that happened over an eight-month process. I should have left sooner. But, I feel if I did I would have not meet Hunter. My current boyfriend. I know what I am worth and I am happy! For the longest time. I am finally happy. The most consistent happiness that I would ever have.

This is the most difficult time… Getting out of a toxic relationship into a healthy one. Hunter had to deal with a lot of baggage and tried to break old habits.

Thank you for reading! See you soon!

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